Never Hear Them Say
by MysticFirefly
Summary: Basically, this is a bunch of things you'd never hear Team 7 say. It's pointless and random but if you like that, come on in. oneshot?
1. Part 1

**_A/N: _**This probably wouldn't be considered a story but I really wanted to write it. I hope some of you find it amusing.

**_Disclaimer: _**I don't own Naruto or any lines that show up in here that come from movies, shows, or songs.

Things You'd Never Hear Team 7 Say

**Sasuke: **Naruto, you work so hard! You'll be Hokage in no time!  
**Naruto: **Are you smoking something? What makes you think I'd be Hokage?

**Naruto: **Sakura, will you go out with me? Please?  
**Sakura: **Great! I thought you'd never ask!  
**Naruto: **What about Sasuke?  
**Sakura: **Sasuke who?

**Sasuke: **I must find Itachi!  
**Naruto: **Yes, we know you have to "avenge the clan."  
**Sasuke: **Who cares about them? I just want to know where he bought his totally rad nail polish.

**Sakura: **Kakashi-sensei?  
**Kakashi: **Yes?  
**Sakura: **Stop hogging your book and let me have some fun with it!

**Naruto: **PokeBall go! Nine Tails ATTACK!

**Sasuke: **-crying-  
**Sakura: **What's wrong Sasuke?  
**Sasuke: **I got in touch with my inner EMOness. I'm just so sensitive right now.

**Kakshi: **Naruto, could you demonstrate your sexy-jutsu?

**Sakura: **Sasuke is a _total_ loser. He sits around and is agnsty_ all _day. He complains about _everything_. If he thinks girls dig that stuff he is _totally_ wrong.

**Naruto: **I need to stop eating Ramen. It's totally ruining my figure, believe it.

**Sasuke: **Fear Itachi, for he has the one Sharingan to rule them all.

**Kakashi: **I sense a disturbance in the force of chakra.

**Sakura: **Ino, you can have Sasuke. Do whatever you want with him. Lee's way smexier.

**Kakshi: **Oh man I got to leave. I don't want to be late for training.

**Naruto: **I'm a horrible ninja. I think I'll quit and join the circus. Just call me the amazing fox demon boy.

**Sasuke: **I must join with Orochimaru. Those butt bows are so fashionable! They will make me stronger and look better than I already am!

**Sakura: **You are totally right, my forehead _is_ completely hideous.

**Kakashi: **Sakura, I need you.  
**Sakura: **Yes Kakashi-sensei?  
**Kakashi: **You're the only one skilled enough to heal my wounded s-o-o-o-oul!

**Naruto: **-to Sasuke- It's tearing up my heart when I'm with you…

**Sasuke: **Does this outfit put my sexual orientation in danger?

**Sakura: **HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!

**_

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A/N:_** No one bash me and call me a character hater because I love them all. I know this was random, stupid, and pointless but your thoughts _would_ be nice. If enough people like it I may do another chapter or something. Your flames will be used to burn my trash.


	2. Part 2

**_A/N: _**Weeeeee! People actually read this piece of randomness. I hope I don't disappoint you.

**_Disclaimer: _**Not mine.

Team 7 Part 2

**Naruto: **Iruka-sensei, you suck.

**Sasuke: **Show me the meaning of being lonely…

**Sakura: **Why is everyone so much more skilled than I am. WHY?

**Kakashi: **Icha Icha Paradise is so dirty. I need to burn those books NOW.

**Naruto: **-after being brutally attacked- I'm going to go cry in this corner. That is my ninja way.

**Sasuke: **I'm the only guy in the whole Naruto world who can't get over his bloody past, so I think I'll abandon the only people who actually care about me and become the one person who I hate more than life itself. Yes, I hate life.

**Sakura: **I can't throw shuriken to save my life, literally.

**Kakashi: **Gai, you win.

**Naruto: **Sasuke?  
**Sasuke: **What loser face?  
**Naruto: **Tell me I'm beautiful!

**Sasuke: **Naruto is ten thousand times way cooler than I'll ever be.

**Sakura: **Kakashi-sensei, what in that psychotic head of yours makes you think I'd pass the chunnin exam? Wait, don't answer that.

**Kakashi: **How did I get stuck with a dropout, a pretty boy, and girl who is way too hormonal for her age?

**Naruto: **Dude, I flipping suck.  
**Kakashi: **Ya, pretty much.

**Sasuke: **I've got a lovely bunch of cocoanuts, doodly do.

**Sakura: **Everytime we touch, I get this feeling! Everytime we kiss, I swear I could fly!

**Kakashi: **Sasuke I'm sick of you arguing. FIFTY LASHES!

**Naruto: **Come on Sakura! We're going after Sasuke!  
**Sakura: **Why?  
**Naruto: **Uh…that's a good question.

**Sasuke: **-at final battle- Itachi, you're still my favorite person. I love you. Let's go home okay?

**Sakura: **What the heck is chakra?

**Kakashi: **I'm too sexy for my headband, too sexy for my headband.

**Naruto: **I wanna be, the very best. Like no one ever was! To catch them is my real test, to train them is my cause! I will travel across the land, searching far and wide. Each shinobi to understand, the power that's inside!

**Sasuke: **My name is Sasuke Uchiha, you killed my father, prepare to die.

**_

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A/N: _**I know there's a few things there that characters _could_ say but they wouldn't say them out loud or in that context…yeah. Next chapter (when I do eventually write it) will feature other people. Feedback is cool :)


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